I’m Mr. Brightside!
Today’s June 11. HAHA. K. Only I get what significance it has.
I downloaded McFly’s version of Mr. Brightside yesterday. I still like The Killers’ version better. HAHA. Maybe it’s because McFly’s version sounds a bit too teenybopper. Or maybe I’m just biased. Hahaha!
Tomorrow’s June 12. Independence Day. It’s also Mom’s birthday. The whole morning, she’s been going on about how she wants to have a surprise for her birthday. I found that weird. How can you ask for a surprise?… but, okay. Hahaha. I have no idea what to do. I’m not a big fan of surprises. I texted Daddy at work, and he hasn’t replied to me. I leave this all up to him. Hahahaha! I tried to get Mom to cancel my dentist appointment tomorrow. I don’t get why she doesn’t want to. Doesn’t she want to sleep in on her birthday? Apparently not.
I want to do something productive today.. like maybe write. HAHA. I bought a journal yesterday at National. Seeing Yana’s journal the other day made me think maybe I’d feel like writing more often if I had a nice notebook to write in, so I got an unlined notebook like I’ve always wanted. I dunno, there’s just something about the blank space that makes you want to fill it up. Besides, I like it better. More freedom, I guess? Hahaha. But as is typical of me, I haven’t even removed its plastic wrapping. It’s still there in my bag. Maybe I’ll think about taking it out of my bag the night before the first day of class. HAHA.
You’re my wonderwall!
I just got home from Katipunan with Mich and Marty. I went to buy “school supplies” from National. Actually… all I bought was a notebook and a G-Tec refill. We spent a few minutes in McDo, and went to Blueskies to play Rock Band. There weren’t any available slots left, though. So we walked to XBX Interactive instead. Hahaha. Sucks a lot. On the way to XBX, we were talking about how maybe we could have picked up the A(H1N1) virus from Blueskies since it was packed with Ateneans as usual. HAHA. Hopefully not. Buying school stuff made me look forward to school again. Yay!
Guys, take care of yourselves, okay? I’m really worried about my friends who study in Ateneo and La Salle [HAHAHAHA] but, really. Swine flu’s spreading really fast. I hope it gets eradicated soon.
Pull away from this embrace.
I haven’t updated all summer long. I neglected my blog again. Sorry, love. Haha.
Well, I’m back. Summer’s coming to an end. I only have six more days to go until college officially starts, unless Ateneo decides to extend our summer a few days more like CSB and DLSU did on account of the A(H1N1) virus. I’m really looking forward to it. I just got my sched yesterday. I guess it could be a lot worse, but anyway, I got all the subjects I wanted to [HAHAHA actually, I only get to choose two subjects: science and PE.] My TTh schedule kinda sucks, though, because right after Math class comes PE which is all the way at the covered courts. I guess I’ll figure out a way. Hahaha. Yana and I have all our classes together except for Math and PE. At least I’ll have someone to get lost with on the campus. Hahaha!
I have a new favorite band right now, Eyes Set To Kill (courtesy of Keatan). Haha. Screamo again. I keep thinking that someday in the future, I’m gonna look back at this and think, that was my screamo phase. HAHA.
Right now, I’m alone in my room as usual. Dani and Yana slept over last night, so we all obviously lack sleep (who sleeps during sleepovers, anyway?) and they just left a little while ago. I’m still full with the McDo we ordered. We ordered McDo twice, by the way. I don’t think I want to eat at McDo for a really long time. HAHAHA. We talked for a really, really long time.. I think we all had a lot of epiphanies last night. Haha.
I won’t sleep if you won’t sleep tonight.
Blog title somewhat related. HAHA. I’ve neglected my blog.
It’s 10:30PM and tomorrow’s our graduation day. Which is probably why I can’t sleep right now. It feels like too much. After weeks of practice, tomorrow’s finally the day.
Yesterday during the send-off, where the students are given a chance to approach any teacher they want to and express their feelings, everyone cried. Yes. Even me. But it was mostly because everyone else was crying. Every direction I looked people were hugging and crying. It was really weird. HAHA.
My friends and I swore that none of us would cry. But I did. WEAK. Hahaha! But, in fairness, I got past five teachers without crying. I dunno why. I’ve been crying a lot on and off the past weeks. Graduation blues, yeah? It’s sad, really. Just thinking about it makes me all depressed. I’m never going to wear that sickeningly conservative brown uniform ever again; and all those sentimental emotional things..
Anyway, I’m still a fourth year student right now. In a few hours, I won’t be a high school student anymore. I’ll be a graduate. I’ll be an alumna. It’s all so depressing. Everything’s going by too fast.
I just want to say that I’m going to be missing everyone [yes, even our dear Physics teacher. I’m going to miss our section worst of all, though. We’re absolutely the best, and I’m never going to find another section like that EVER. 
I’ve been loving the past few days though. Especially today. 
I’m luckyy. HAHA!
Like A Maze
…Where all of the walls all continually change.
Hey, I’m not so totally obsessed with John Mayer that I wouldn’t notice that he makes really weird lyrics sometimes. Then again, it’s a form of poetry, and poetry doesn’t always have to be gramatically correct…
Anyway.
The only really good thing I can say about today is I finally got my Ateneo acceptance letter! XD
It was weird. When I was holding it, I got a bit of the euphoria from the time when I saw my name on the list back and it felt really strange. I had a huge grin on my face the whole time I was opening and reading the letter. It was in a huge white envelope. I was just sooo happy holding it. HAHA!
And, yeah.. I’ve still been feeling down, but I’ve gotten to think about it a bit and I thought about what’s making me feel so bad/depressed. And, I still can’t really tell, but I’m getting there. Haha.
I am so frightened, I am so frightened,
Of the unexpected sunrise finishing,
Of revelation.
Free Fallin’
I don’t know why I’ve been feeling so down lately. No matter how happy something makes me feel, I inevitably come home and sit in front of the computer feeling like a total jerk with a loser life. I dunno. Hahaha. Something’s missing. I know what it is, but I can’t seem to face it for some reason.
Okay… moving on from the emo-ness.
I went to Ateneo yesterday with Fatima and Dani only to find out that AFC was cancelled.
I went to school after that to get Sarah’s and my report card. My grades were somewhat decent. Could’ve been way better, though. I just mostly maintained the same grades I had last quarter.
After, I went to a meeting at Cassie’s house for music and as always, we didn’t do much. XD
I ate dinner out with my family that night, but I was too tired and moody so Dad was in a bad mood. Overall not a very enjoyable day/night.
Plus my fingers hurt from attempting to play Daughters by John Mayer on the guitar. I don’t actually know how to play the guitar, but, yeah. Haha. I was getting somewhere. I don’t get the strumming though. Miggy kept saying, “COUNT! 1-2-3-4-5-6. 1-2-3-4-5-6.” My head was spinning.
Today, we went to church and we weren’t that late for once. I spent the whole service outside with Josh and Miggy. I feel bad. Haha. And, someone wouldn’t talk to me. :-< Kay. Sad.
I wanna free fall out into nothing,
Oh, I’m gonna leave this world for a while.
Now… I’m trying to make myself do my homework, but I’m procrastinating as always. I really have to get over this laziness. Sloth is a deadly sin. I have to write an essay explaining what I think about one of the definitions of love in sonnet 116. Quite honestly, I don’t have much of an opinion on love since I have yet to experience it. XD
I’m not looking forward to tomorrow. I’ll have to endure another long week.
It has to get better sooner or later, right?
“…I can be surrounded by a sea of people, but still feel all alone.” –Tennyson
I’m stuttering!
Hahahaha. LSS again. XD
I had a really tiring day yesterday. It was a lot of fun, though. HAHAHA. I had a bonding moment with Starr and Beck yesterday during Prosec [we were supposed to watch Oprah, but we were at the back and getting shushed every 5 seconds] and I found out about… some things. Hahaha! Homay. Solido UVE.
Todayy, we had a long test in Economics, a quiz on El Fili and a quiz on calorimetry one after another. Utter hell, especially since I fell asleep the afternoon before and had to cram everything. I made it through, though… except for the Physics quiz. I’m not sure about how I did in that one. Hopefully I scraped through.
On top of all this, I didn’t get to submit my sulating pormal because I didn’t get to make it. So tonight, I have to write it. We’re supposed to write a “sequel” to El Fili, although I think it’s more along the lines of an epilogue. How can you write a sequel if the main characters are dead? Enlighten me.
Aaaaaand I have to memorize Sonnet 116 because there’ll be a quiz on that tomorrow. And I’ve only memorized the first four lines. XD Kay, I can do this. I just need to tell myself to get off my ass and get to work.
Oh, and my family’s being really annoying right now. LIVE ME ALONE. D: HAHAHA.
I don’t even know
if I can even be me.
Cause it’s so hard to be me
when you’re next to me.
If I could say so,
I’d say what I’m feeling.
But I can say so,
my lips just tremble.
I’m stuttering,
oh oh oh oh oh.
It’s a love song for no one.
So, today at school, everyone talked about nothing except college. This is seriously wearing on me. I don’t want to think about the possibly wrong many decisions I’m going to be making sooner than I want to, but hopefully, I’ll be ready by then. In the meantime, there’s nothing to do but hope and pray. I don’t think I want to fast about this the same way I fasted two weeks ago. That was harder than I thought it would be. A LOT harder. Haha.
Bayanihan had their Prosec fieldtrip today. It felt weird not being with Mich and Dani. [Okay, I missed them. HAHAHAHA of course I did! How could I not?] So I hung around with different people today.. Mostly Marty. And again discussed college. [And incidentally found out some things that I didn't think possible. HAHA.]
Oh, hopefully starting today, I’ll start updating more often, every day if possible. Hahaha. And on a random note, I’m still stuck on John Mayer. Hahaha!
Nothing out of the ordinary happened today. Wish me luck tomorrow, I’m going to be doing… something that hopefully I’m not going to regret doing. Hahaha, I hope it goes better this time around.
On another random note, we were discussing Shakespeare’s sonnet 116 in English class today. And I realized, I’m soooo looking forward to doing this the next few years of my life. XD Kayy. Anyway, I really liked it… it’s just beautiful. HAHAHAHAHA!
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
It’s just… sad.
I don’t know why I’m feeling so down about this. All this college shiz is really getting to me. But I think I’ve figured it out. I was chatting with Erica a while ago. She was feeling depressed too, but she didn’t know why. Then, it hit me just at that moment for some reason.
I feel bad because going to Ateneo is just so FINAL. Maybe that’s why I kept putting off telling people that I’d be studying there even if I did get into UP.
As Erica said, “I mean, who knew one day’s worth of results could alter my life so dramatically?”
Srsly. Shouldn’t I be ecstatic that I got into my dream school? Well, then… Why aren’t I? HAHA.
Okay, I was, when I found out. Hahaha. So, what happened? Maybe I need some time to get used to the idea.
